I never imagined my boy’s 12 month post to be like this, but I am actually blessed that I can sit down and share this, because he pulled through like a champ!
Noah was diagnosed with Sagittal Craneosynostosis – a condition where his cranium closed too soon, and because of this, his head and brain where growing abnormally. The diagnosis happened three months ago, and yet, his surgery was not scheduled until October 12. This meant, a long three months of waiting, and medical visits and testing. Three surgeons did the procedure, and because of this, we had to wait until all three had seen him and where available for the long and delicate surgery. Finally, the day came, and because the wait had been so long, we were ready for all of it to be over.
I am grateful Noah is small and young, because he won’t remember this part of his life; but we will. However, we won’t remember it as a macabre event… we will remember it as another challenge endured and succeeded. I can’t remember crying or feeling helpless – at all. I remember feeling strong and incredibly optimistic that we would pull though it. I never doubted it, even when the first night was the most difficult thing for me to witness – my baby fighting a pain I would’ve immediately spared him off, and moments when I would’ve traded my life to be in his place.
But it passed. And he succeeded. He showed my he could do it, even when I thought he couldn’t possibly endure it.
From the day of the surgery, I can only remember love and smiles. We had two of our best friends – Katy and Kerry – travel from Tampa, just to sit in the hospital with us, while we waited. Also my brother Felipe and his girlfriend Stephanie, who didn’t hesitate to wake early and simply sit at the cafeteria and drink overpriced coffee and breakfast with us. And my best friend Carolina, who also came to sit by our side and shared with us the heartache of the uncertain, as we told silly stories and just waited. I will be in debt to them always. I can’t express what their company and support meant… still mean, and will always be remembered. It made an unmeasurable difference.
My heart was divided between my two children – Noah in surgery, and Sophia at home with my mother in law – but I knew they would be fine. I’ve always known this. I wasn’t always the strongest person – I used to cry a lot – and sometimes I think I have shed all the extra tears already.I save them now for when I truly feel hopeless. This time, i never did.
My husband is also part of my power; he’s good and kind, and so generous and loving. Noah and Sophia are so lucky to have him. To have so many people who love and care about them. Those are the feelings I felt – and still feel – throughout this entire thing. The messages and prayers sent through facebook – a place I have been thinking of leaving – were overwhelmingly amazing. Noah felt all that positive energy and love, and all those blessings and prayers. The power of a word and a kind thought never go unnoticed.
Thank you to all the people who took a minute or two to send their positive thoughts to my child.
So Noah is now home, and I am in awe at the strength and courage I witnessed from someone not even a year old. He still smiled and laughed, even when he must’ve been in so much pain. He was so good and sweet, as he has always been. So innocent and pure.
Yesterday was his First Birthday, and I didn’t have a wish to make for him, because I realized any wish I could have for him has already come true. He is fine and he is with us. His existence in our lives is a true blessing, and so is Sophia’s. I never realized how true it was when people called their kids angels. My children are my angels – they have gotten me through the hardest times, and the happiest moments. They are the true heroes of my life story.
Happy birthday my sweet Noah! I thought we would take your first year photos in some cool location with some cute and trendy clothes; but instead, I did them in a hospital, showing just how important and beautiful you really are. I will forever thank God for the gift of your life in mine, and for bringing us so much love and unity, in times when our lives have been shaken and difficult. You bring clarity and optimism to my life, and you bring out the best out of anyone I’ve known.
I love you so dearly. You deserve a life of joy and good. You’ve earned it.
I won’t lie to you, life will sometimes be rough and rock your foundations, but I have no doubt you will pull through.
Each challenge you face, is a challenge that builds character. Yours is already in great shape!
We will see where your second birthday will take us.
With all the love in the universe,
Mommy.
